The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 6.2 – Diplomacy

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I got the distinct impression that these fellows weren’t very happy to see us. One of them chattered at me demandingly in incomprehensible syllables. Having noted my blank uncomprehending stare he turned to his fellows and whispered something. They began circling us.

‘O good.’

I really didn’t know what to do. We had no arms and even if we did using them would be inadvisable. Who knows how many lurked in the dim shadows beyond the fire?

“This doesn’t seem very diplomatic.” Sam quipped grimly.

“Any ideas?” Lucas said looking directly at our defacto leader.

Graham said nothing. Producing a zippo from his lighter in a smooth fluid motion he popped the top with a metallic clink and the small candle like flame danced in the night. This produced a quick bursting wave of hushed chattering from our visitors.

Then Graham pulled out his Pall Malls and held them high. The top of the pack was torn open and wiggling out a fag with his thumb he completed the extraction with his lips and lit it. As he exhaled smoke he eyed the crowd.

They chattered again.

He closed the zippo and along with the pack extended it towards the crowd with a bowed head.

“A gift.” He said calmly as he beckoned with the present.

One of the younger looking men rushed forward to accept but was quickly yanked back by the man who had first spoken. There were some words of obvious reprimand and then for what seemed like hours but was likely mere minutes the entire group watched us with eerie silence.

This is when I heard the sound of rotor blades.

Soon after flares rained down on all sides and a familiar voice boomed curious syllables through a megaphone.

The crowd remained watchful for a few moments more then disappeared smoothly into the inky night.

The bird circled and continued its rain of flares. Then hovered above our camp.

We heard metallic laughter through the megaphone.

“Are you scared bichanos? It is ok stay calm do not leave the camp Papa is coming.”

The laughter resumed.

‘What a fucking asshole.’

An hour or so later Fabre and Lobo burst into the camp laughing upropriously with a silent Cook in tow.

Upon seeing our confused annoyed faces they managed to calm themselves enough to put forth an explanation.

“I guess Cook owes you an apology. Diplomacy is hard in the Amazon and we can’t keep track of everything.”

“It is my fault.” Cook confessed.

“What is?” Lucas asked.

“That tribe, we don’t really even have a name for them we were unable to negotiate for them to tolerate you.”

“To tolerate us?”

“Yes, all the local chiefs must be placated and assured that brancos are not garimperos and are not carrying disease.”

“It is a good thing that this happened.” Lobo cut in.

“It is a good thing because you see I am a man and this place will crush me accidently in seconds and you are bichanos…this expedition is a joke…”

“Don’t be insulted by the truth boys.”

“I might not be a superhero but I’m not a bitch.”

Lobo shook his massive head. “Does not matter…we are all bitches here.”

“They were going to kill you and burn the camp.” Fabre said.


Part I – Kentucky Door

1.1 (Intro) The Sketch of Sam Monroe

1.2 The Cajun Prayer

1.3 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter One: The Cambridge Gable Scene (‘Gator is Waitin’)

1.4 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 1.4 – The Cambridge Gable Scene – (Horticulture)

1.5 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 1.5: ‘To Luckadoo Cove’

1.6 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 1.6 – ‘Is there anybody out there…’

1.7 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 1.7: ‘Jesse’

1.8 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 1.8: ‘Lungful of Bees’

1.9 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 1.9 – ‘Precedent’

2.0 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.0 -Calvinist Neuroses

2.1 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.1 – Mirage

2.2 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.2 – Estate Planning

2.3 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.3 – High Tech Summons

2.4 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.4 – Amazon Stonehenge

2.5 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.5 – Jung

2.6 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.6 – Dee

2.7 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.7 – Meeting 211

2.8 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.8 – Itinerary

2.9 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.9 – Fact and Fiction

2.10 Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.10 -Kaffeeklatsch

2.11 Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.11 – Catnap

2.12 Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.12 – ‘One Pair’

2.13 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.13 – Reentry

2.14 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.14 – Phoenix

2.15 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.15 – Apollo and Dionysus

3.0 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.0 – Inherit the Wind

3.1 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.1 – Stardust

3.2 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.2 – Loyola

3.3 Chapter 3.3 – High and Dry

3.4 Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.4 – One DreamSketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.9 – Thera_

3.5 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.5 – Pensive

3.6 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.6 – Feijoada

3.7 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.7 – ‘Good food and good work…’

3.8 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.8 – A Good Egg

3.9 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.9 – Oregon Hill

3.10 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.10 – ‘Thick Bushes’

4.0 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.0 – No room at the Inn

4.1 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.1 – The Union Jack

4.2 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.2 – The Genevive

4.3 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.3 – Ecclesiastes 1:18

4.4 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.4 – Bleached

4.5 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.5 – Marty

4.6 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.6 – Highland Deep

4.7 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.7 – Sunshine

4.8 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.8 – What is it?

4.9 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.9 – Thera

4.10 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.10 – Father Crespi

4.11 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.11 – Why this?

Part II – The Wizard’s Nod

5.0 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.0 – Thurible

5.1 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.1 – Parlour Tricks

5.2 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.2 – Tropical Brutalism

5.3 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.3 – The Dreamers in the Wood

5.4 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.4 – Les Goddams

The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.5 – Lobo

5.6 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.6 – Madonna

5.7 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.7 – Basic 2.0

5.8 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.8 – The Least Dangerous Game

5.9 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.9 – Bichanos

5.10 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.10 – Extreme Parsimony

5.11 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.11 – Gut to Guts

6.0 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 6.0 -Silent Chocolate (Celestial Shoes)

6.1 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 6.1 – Of Boffins and Shamans


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