Dudebro Six Figs – The New Approach to Writing

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The pines creaked and swayed. Cold settled like a chill blanket as the sun slowly sank.

If I followed the advice I’ve found in some writers guides I’d have never arranged words in that particular order. Those sentences wouldn’t exist.

Description is gauche you see. Everyone has talked about sunsets and the advent of evening so no one will ever enjoy reading about them again.

Don’t set up background for your stories. Especially if you use pesky polysyllabic words in those backgrounds. What are you some kind of writer?

I bet you used a thesaurus to look up those community college words. Nobody uses those words.

You gotta be conversational.

You’re distracting from the pacing.

Jesus Christ. Given the prevalence of these Formica table board room strategies at Wanker Startup Ltd. it’s a wonder anyone bothers to write anything at all.

You think the last sentence was wobbly. Good. That’s the point. Not everything has to be tailored to the ear of an idiot. In ancient Greece idiot meant a person who was not involved in city politics i.e. someone who was unaware of things that affected him.

I’m not saying that if you didn’t understand that by ‘Wanker Startup Ltd.’ I was referring to the trendy ‘everything is business and we’re all savvy entrepreneurs’ culture that’s sprung up in every facet of life in recent years – that this means you’re an idiot. What I’m saying is that the risk of being misunderstood is no cause for weird minimalistic corporate gibberish focusing on core competency of making everything a sitcom.

You see, it’s fine to miss the point that ‘Formica table’ is actually a modifier for ‘strategies,’ calling them cheap. It might mean nothing to you on a first reading. Later on it might mean a lot. Or not. There are other readers who may enjoy it. Or not. The point is the sentence has a right to exist in all its wobbly glory.

I often hear everyone and their dog complaining about the lack of original content and constant reruns. Well, what do you expect when writers and actors are all designed at corporate?

* AFAIK – Dudebro Sixfigs may have been coined by Aaron Clarey of ‘Asshole Consulting’

* Using the random image I found on my search for shitty startup/boardroom isn’t meant to poke fun at the guy in the photo. It was just too perfect of an amalgamation of certain trendy philosophies and styles that are in vogue.

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