Names that Herald The Apocalypse

Image result for this is how you baptize a boy named kyle

No one with these names will achieve anything of substance and our infrastrucutre will collapse. If you think I’m wrong you haven’t been watching the news. Good for you. Ignorance is bliss.

1) Josh

2) Kyle

3) Jessica

4) Preston

5) Jenn

6) Ashley

7) Ashton

8) Todd

9) McKenzie

10) McKayla

11) Caleb

12) Calvin

13) Gabe

14) Arden

15) Jenna

16) Nicole

17) Walker

18) Spencer

19) Jess

20) Cole

Most of these pricks are my age. Which means in ten years they’ll displace the degenerate gen X flannel brigade that spawned them in the billion Subarus that litter the suburban wastes like taunting oriental trophies that won’t let us forget the death of Detroit. I’d say repent. But it’s too late and I have a latte to buy.

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