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Alas, Today I have failed my Lord.

For during my seven hour thirteen minute breakless shift…I paused to shit.

O Bezos most merciful fullfiller lead me back to the light. May I master my need to shit, may I purge all from my body and mind that does not translate into boxes on brown trucks.

May I not fear the 2 am start time for it is our sacred season whose name is Peak.

Bezos forgive me. Bezos keep me. For thee in thy wisom hath gutted the job market with tax exemptions and monopoly. There is to none but thee and thy servant UPS that I may turn.

Blessings upon you, merciful one.

You of the line of Re. Of Seti the great Begoten of Nuit unto whom stand grand pylons.

The blood and sweat of many hath made manifest the grandeur of your empire.

Grant me the strength to raise pillars of Chinese assembled goods that shall reach to the ends of the earth.

Your profits will stretch form the rising to the setting of the sun.

O Bezos great one my father.

All donations will be reinvested into the coffers of our Lord.


Hail Bezos!

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