Category: Alex Weir

The Origin of Poverty

Drive thru-breakfast food is your master. Despair for the fetters of Waffle House are wrought of iron.

TFS 44 – Sexy Alien David Spade Seduces a Spicy Latin Farmer

  What happens when a lonely farmer, two strapping Swedes, and a strange milky substance find themselves on the same UFO?! Find out in this exciting episode of The Fractal Standard! I’m still 13.   A Strange Alien Abduction in Acapulco  

More Bad Times Ahead?

One event that has sustained emotional resonance is that evening on the outskirts of Moscow. I was a kid of six or so. It was 1995ish and my mother and I were ferried to some bestial monument to Brutalism in a creme colored Soviet…

Tea for One (Short Story/Creepypasta/Original)

I felt the chill. Let it sink in. Now that the drunken shouts and laughter had decayed into murmurs, I was beginning to feel the night. My fire provided warmth enough for the kettle that swung on a hook above it. I however was…

Ab Ovo

Ab Ovo means ‘from the very beginning.’ I first ran into this phrase while reading the introduction to Copleston’s History of Philosophy – Volume I. The first subheading to the introduction is ‘why study the History of Philosophy?’ One of the reasons cited is…

Le Baww

Well, seems I just can’t win the battle for time. Old washing machine’s been dead for a tidy while so I’ve been goin to the laundraumauouaehshtIAIACTHULHUFHATAGN or however you spell the place where we collectively wash the chipotle farts from our breifs. Unfortunately, the…

the dark side of synchronicity

enroute to my buddies german joint, ecstatic that they were now doing takeout, a classic rock dj delivered some uncannily specific bad news yes. im a nerd. yes. i will die alone upside down in a pub toilet. and yes, i stole that line…

Damn It

Try sleeping or eating a nice family meal with these fuckers in your kitchen. Keep a close eye on your plumbin’ folks. Sometimes even pros can barely find the issue in older homes.

TFS 43 – St. George’s Day, Incense, and Glenfiddich

I’m in a thoughtful mood. Join me for a meander simultaneously personal and macrocosmic. All acheived andante. Herein, we will explore St. George, coincidences, Scotch and all manner of things between. Glenfiddich vs Glenlivet – who will win the heavyweight title bout? https://www.historyextra.com/period/medieval/st-georges-day-10-things-you-probably-didnt-know-about-him/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_History_of_Western_Philosophy…

TFS 42 – Microcosmic Rambles, Germany’s Asparagus Camps, and Goths Sack Rome

  Plumbing woes have me making yet another disjointed vlog of vlogness. Herein you’ll find minutia from my life, defending the merits of Korean gals, Germany’s kinky stance on Romanian labor, discovering a Southern Yup Magazine, a random ass passage from Russell, and amateur…